I've been playing around with importing fewer dependencies, and solved my own issue. I'm logging it in case it helps anyone else:

Error (Python 3.11/3.12, Windows):
Cannot subscript None at:

PYLDLIB = sysconfig.get_config_var("LDLIBRARY")

# Strip libpython3.11.a.so => python3.11.a
PYLDLIB = PYLDLIB[3:] if PYLDLIB.startswith("lib") else PYLDLIB

Possible Solution: Use pre-release beta Python 3.13
https://www.python.org/downloads/release/python-3130b1/

Fixed upstream:
python/cpython#110049